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The Yoga Mom And Guilty Husband Index Is Way Up Today

The Yoga Mom And Guilty Husband Index Is Way Up Today

Trump’s flip and flopping over the details of the China trade deal have the market looking a little lackluster as the day has progressed, but there are a few diamonds in the rough. Literally.

Guilty husbands everywhere are “delighted” to learn that the biggest mover of the day is Tiffany & Co. After they were able to roll out Q1 earning that surprised many, the luxury brand is trading at $121.91, which is a 19.24% increase from yesterdays closing price of $102.23. The weather has taken a toll on many retailers this year, but what the weather can’t stop is a need to say “Sorry” via overtly expensive baubles. American sales contributed to a large part of the growth in sales, but more of it came from the sales in the Asia-Pacific region.

The company’s sales in the Americas, its biggest market, rose 9 percent and Asia-Pacific 28 percent in the three months ended April 30.

Tiffany & Co. isn’t the only company benefitting from the sale of their overpriced products. Lululemon’s stock price is closing in on the price of their yoga pants, reaching an all-time high of $106.54 around noon today. As long as these companies continue to pump out overpriced products and husbands continue to be terrible, we should see growth…right?

The last stock in the Yoga Moms and Guilty Husbands index, Ralph Lauren, was able to increase margins and turn another market over the first quarter. The outfitter for those looking to appear privileged in the summer months appears to be benefitting from CEO Patrice Louvet connecting with the company’s 78-year-old executive chairman, Ralph Lauren, in a way that former CEO Stefan Larsson never could. We assume this largely had to do with Larsson’s use of Nautica cologne, but the world may never know.

Secret intern diary because Thornton doesn’t read down this far: So far I have managed to avoid any serious repercussions for breaking the phone while attempting to set up a new tip line. Also, whenever some says a name I don’t recognize, I just drop my jaw one half-inch, nod my head in agreement, and say, “ooohhhhh”, as I google the name of said person while maintaining eye contact. If you are caught in a similar situation, I would advise adopting this strategy because it is working flawlessly. Also, I have entered the Twittersphere as @InternThad and with my millennial powers, I will establish rapport with Thornton [he might be on the spectrum]. Lastly, please continue to submit intern stories and media to Thad@dealbreaker.com.

Ralph Lauren Shares Surge on Designer’s Vote of Confidence in His CEO [Bloomberg]

Tiffany Quarterly Earnings Trounce Estimates, Shares Spike 17% [CNBC]

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