Warren Buffett

Jamie Dimon Lazily Attempts To Bat Away His Destiny On Live Television

During an appearance on CNBC’s Squawk Box this morning, Jamie Dimon and Warren Buffett announced that they’d found the perfect masochist to work for them and Jeff Bezos on their new health care initiative, professed the American economy to be booming and called for an end to the market’s obsession with quarterly earnings reports [killjoys]. But the only real newsworthy moment of the interview came when Becky Quick asked the question on the mind of every true American patriot: Will Jamie Dimon admit that he must give in to divine providence and run for president? Here’s the video: Jamie Dimon says “I have no intention of running for president,” Buffett adds that he isn’t going to run for vice president either. pic.twitter.com/ayzgDgC31g — CNBC Now (@CNBCnow) June 7, 2018 Even President-Elec...

Surge In Warren Buffett Steak-Lunch Index Goes Unnoticed By President Trump

Getty Images The president of the United States is not a man who wastes any time taking to Twitter to crow about the latest bullish economic indicator, of which there are many, all clear evidence of how his reflected glory is single-handedly MAGAing. Sometimes, he gets so excited he can’t help but tweet about it before it is even news. And yet, he’s been strangely silent on the clearest sign that the only Americans he actually cares about—those with enough money to serve in his Cabinet—are back on top: The Warren Buffett Steak-Lunch Index, which this weekend spiked to a two-year high. The winning bid in the annual “Power Lunch With Warren Buffett” charity auction came in at $3,300,100 on Friday night. The amount exceeds the $2,679,001 paid last year but fell short of the record $3,456,789 ...

Why Will No One Take Warren Buffett’s Gosh-Darned Money?

Warren Buffett’s idea of ride-sharing. Source: AP Uber is trying to raise all of the money. Warren Buffett has all of the money. Warren Buffett is an elderly luddite who should probably diversify his technology holdings beyond a little startup called Apple. Uber is a technology company that, compared to Apple, is small and startup-y. Uber has a long and growing list of reputational issues. Warren Buffett is widely regarded as a folk cure for corporate reputational issues. Uber uses cars. Warren Buffett has cars. It was a match made in heaven. Until it wasn’t. Warren Buffett earlier this year offered to invest $3 billion in Uber Technologies Inc., but the two sides couldn’t agree on the terms, according to a person familiar with the matter…. Berkshire has a history of investing in troubled ...

The Three Most Powerful Men In American Business Can’t Figure Out Why No One Wants This Terrible Job They Created

Question: Who wants to run a brand-new healthcare company in modern America while working for Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffett and Jamie Dimon simultaneously? Did you answer “Nobody smart”? Because you’d be right! Take it away, CNBC: Almost four months ago, Amazon, Berkshire Hathaway and J.P. Morgan Chase announced a bold new partnership aimed at bringing down the costs of health care.But ABC, as the group is known, has encountered a surprising challenge filling the CEO spot. “Wow,” the most potentially awful job in the world of business remains empty, and the men who created it are flummoxed as to why. Berkshire CEO Warren Buffett said at the company’s investor meeting earlier this month that the consortium hoped to have a CEO “within a couple of months.” We get that Buffett and his new partner...

Everyone Can’t Be Buying The Panthers, So What’s Your Excuse For Selling 153 Million Apple Shares To Omaha’s Favorite Grandpa?

I’ve been a rather vocal critic of the whole “just buy the damn robots” narrative from the time it accidentally went pseudo-mainstream and I’m a big(ly) believer in the idea that sooner or later, everyone crowding into FAANG is going to end up in tears whether it’s from some new regulatory bombshell or maybe just a shift back to value from growth. On the former (the crowdedness of that trade), it’s taken the top spot for four consecutive months in BofAML’s Global Fund Manager Survey and everyone knows that thanks in part to the dynamics described by Howard Marks in his “perpetual motion machine” piece published last summer, these names have been driven inexorably higher by a self-feeding dynamic that has begun to approximate autopilot. (BofAML) As far as the latter point (a shift back to v...

Hedge Funds Didn’t Lose That Bet To Warren Buffett Because Passive Indices Will Always Beat Active Managers Over The Long Term But Because They Just Picked The Wrong Decade To Bet On

Getty Images As we all know, the ten-year battle royal between Hedge Funds and the Oracle of Omaha did not end well for the former. It was not close: Warren Buffett’s S&P 500 Index just about doubled between the beginning of 2008 and the end of 2017, Ted Seides’ basket of baskets of hedge funds (a.k.a. funds of hedge funds) gained about a quarter. It was so lopsided that Seides cried uncle months before the bet actually ended, while Buffett somewhat less-than-magnanimously said that he’d sooner entrust his massive wealth to a moldering corpse than to a stinking, thieving hedge fund manager. Seides certainly conceded the bet, but even a decade-long ass-kicking wouldn’t get him to concede that the premise behind Buffett’s side—that hedge funds, on account of their high fees charged by th...

Old Men Don’t Like Bitcoin

What does Kathy Ireland think? By Jon Carrasco [CC BY-SA 4.0], from Wikimedia Commons Warren Buffett’s got some free time these days, on account of his “semiretirement” from Berkshire Hathaway. And the 87-year-old is using that time to pour hot folksy scorn on the future, specifically, the future as represented by Elon Musk and the Winklevii. Or, at least, the thing the Winklevii have staked their claim to the future on. Billionaire investor Warren Buffett on Monday said buyers of bitcoin, which he has characterized as “rat poison squared,” thrive on the hope they’ll find other people who will pay more for it…. “If you don’t understand it, you get much more excited,” Buffett said on CNBC television. “People like to speculate, they like to gamble.” Sitting to Buffett’s left, 94-year-old Cha...

Todd Combs May Not Be CEO Material But Is Demonstrating Prophetic Tendencies

(JPMorgan Chase) Todd Combs does not appear in line to succeed Warren Buffett at the helm of Berkshire Hathaway. This, of course, is because no one man (but possibly one woman) could possibly replace the Oracle of Omaha. It will take at least three and possibly many more: Buffett’s son Howard will succeed his father as chairman, Greg Abel or Ajit Jain will take over as CEO, and Combs and Ted Wechsler will manage the stock portfolio. It’s just that Combs seems to do quite a bit more than simply buy and sell stocks. He just happens to sometimes have the guy whose company Buffett wants to pay more than he ever has for anything else in his office at the right time. Things like that. So when the boss was casting around for the right guy to pitch his crazy idea about completely rejiggering the A...

Warren Buffett Defends Non-Existent Gun Investments

Getty Images Don’t get Warren Buffett wrong: There are some things he and his 400-year-old sidekick Charlie won’t own, like immoral pharmaceutical companies. Now, in the wake of the recent horror in South Florida, one might take a look at the Berkshire Hathaway portfolio and say, “Hey look, no guns! Way to go again Warren, you randy, folksy old do-gooder!” And you’d be right: Berkshire does not own any gun companies. It owns a jewelry chain, a private-jet business, an underwear manufacturer, a giant energy holding company, some shitty furniture stores, a bon-bon maker, a press-release distributor and a realtor, but no business that is arming the children of America, not even one of the ones better known for selling those backpack-sized water bottles. But you’d also be wrong: Berkshire isn’...

Warren Buffett Has Become So Good At Investing That He Doesn’t Need To Know What He Owns, Who Bought It, Or Even Why

Source: AP Over the weekend, everyone was forced to spend their Saturday perusing grandpa Warren’s annual letter which was mercifully shorter than usual. To be clear, no one I know actually wants to read Buffett’s ramblings anymore. But being the good grandchildren we are, we humor him because after all, he took the time to write to us, and the least we can do after all these years is act like we care. And you know, Warren doesn’t ask much and he doesn’t ask often. Most grandparents expect you to come listen to their bullshit every weekend in person, and God forbid they figure out how to use e-mail because then you’re going to be getting something in your inbox on Mondays that clearly suggests they don’t remember you were just at their house the day before. Of course Buffett being Buffett,...

Buffett, Bezos And Dimon Are The Traveling Wilburys Of Capitalist Social Justice Warrior Billionaires

Well, if the healthcare industry didn’t have enough uncertainty on its plate (it did), it got served a pipin’ hot helpin’ of “what the actual fuck is this?!” on Tuesday morning when Amazon, Berkshire and JPMorgan said they’re planning on teaming up on a way to offer health care services to their employees. What does that even mean? Well, that’s part of the problem for the likes of  UnitedHealth, CVS and McKesson, which all fell sharply in the pre-market on the headline: See the thing is, whatever industry you happen to be in, just about the last thing you want to hear is that Jeff Bezos is thinking about postin’ up on your block, because if he does, your hustle is over. Whatever it is you were selling, Jeff’s going to sell it cheaper and deliver it more efficiently and that goes for everyt...