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Call The Close: Well This Is Fun, Isn’t It?

Rest assured that he will have the most perfect guess. The most beautiful prediction. You can’t believe how right he’s gonna be. Two years ago, we were promised that the election of an unhinged narcissist to the most powerful office in the land would naturally bring about the sort of motion-sickness-inducing economic collapse that such an action quite frankly really ought to bring. While this was bad news for most people and for the world in general, it had you people salivating: After eight boring years of stability, volatility was coming back and in a big way, baby! Unfortunately, for all his many accomplishments, President Orange Garbage Bag Filled With Spoiled Rice Pudding has utterly failed to inject much excitement into the markets. Sure, there have been moments—lots of them if you’r...