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Nouriel Roubini Seems Undecided On Cryptocurrencies

Oh, Nouriel Roubini is weighing in on cryptos while the markets burn? 99% of crypto land is one shitcoin traded for another shitcoin. And the average shitcoin lost 90% or more of its value in the last year. So Crypto Land is Crap Land, a cesspool of lunatics with severe Freudian scatological obsessions that swim 24/7 in their own stinking shit. — Nouriel Roubini (@Nouriel) October 11, 2018 Tee hee, he said pool.

Toddler Billionaire Can’t Stop Putting Hand On Burning Stove

Everyone’s favorite industrialist billionaire playboy turned social media self-immolator is at it again, just a few days after narrowly escaping disaster for a dumb tweet via strange mercy by the SEC, Elon Musk fired off a dumb [and deeply grammatically flawed] tweet at the SEC. Just want to that the Shortseller Enrichment Commission is doing incredible work. And the name change is so on point! — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 4, 2018 The gaping dark hole of need inside Elon Musk remains forever unfilled, but perhaps the best way to assuage the ache of that hole is by filling it with the placebo of irony. Elon detests Tesla’s short sellers, just ask him. He’s gone full maniac on the Einhorns and Chanii of this world, making it clear that the problem with his electric car company is not its ...

Twitter Gets By With A Little Help From That Company It Really Doesn’t Want To Call Its Friend

Twitter is having a phenomenal week. Its stock is surging in the wake of its entrance into the S&P 500. Twitter jumped roughly 5 percent Tuesday, hitting a 3-year high, after Dow Jones Indices announced the social media company would replace Monsanto in the S&P 500. Luckily for Twitter, Monsanto was bought out by Bayer yesterday, and Bayer decided they were going to leave the infamous agriculture giant’s name right next to all of the skeletons of farmers whose lives they [purportedly] destroyed. The move is not exactly a surprise — it makes sense that Bayer might want to weed out some of the intense negative associations associated with the Monsanto brand. In a way, it’s an indication of how successful anti-Monsanto protesters have been in shaping public perception. Monsanto has be...

Pardon Him

Markets gave Trump the benefit of the doubt to start the new week after a weekend that found the President spending what certainly seemed like an inordinate amount of time assailing various (and in some cases entirely imaginary) foes on Twitter. Seemingly oblivious to the optics, Trump regaled the world on Monday morning with his thoughts on farmers, soybean taxes, “all sorts of trade barriers”, deficits, the constitutionality of the special counsel probe, his power to pardon himself and “Witch Hunts” that he says are being conducted by “conflicted” Democrats and unnamed “others” who he says are “angry” at him for reasons he didn’t specify. That went on for nearly three hours. Trump is on one this morning. i’m fully expecting him to just say “i pissed all over the desk in the O...

The NBA Finals Are Lit, And The Basketball Is Pretty Good Too

The NBA Finals began on Thursday night, the fourth straight meeting between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers, but the NBA offseason got going on Tuesday night with its classic social media drama even more intriguing than ever. In the past, NBA summers have brought us such wonders as DeAndre Jordan’s free agency turning into something close to a kidnapping and Kevin Durant mysteriously referring to himself in the third person to explain his reasons for leaving the Oklahoma City Thunder, though denying he had alternate accounts on Twitter. Tuesday night brought Ben Detrick’s story at The Ringer, “The Curious Case of Bryan Colangelo and the Secret Twitter Account,” a fascinating tale that led to the Philadelphia 76ers launching an investigation into their general manager’s on...

Jack Dorsey Keeps Repping Bitcoin Like It’s 2013

Bitcoin may have fallen 60% from its December highs, but the cryptocurrency industry has never been stronger, as venture capitalists continue to pour money into blockchain companies and sponsor countless conferences where speakers foretell of the coming crypto revolution.   The most prominent booster of blockchain to emerge in the months since bitcoin’s dramatic collapse is Jack Dorsey, the pseudo-philosophic CEO of Twitter and Square. His argument of late is that bitcoin is going to be the currency of the future, telling the Consensus Blockchain Conference in New York Wednesday that “the Internet needs a native currency, and I hope it’s bitcoin.” He was even more bullish in an interview with the U.K. publication The TImes, saying he thought bitcoin would surpass the dollar as the world’s ...

Yup, Baseball On Facebook Really Sucks

For the latest in Major League Baseball’s continued attempts to fix something that isn’t broken, we turn to Sports Business Daily headlines this week. Wednesday: “MLB, Facebook Set To Begin 25-Game Package Today” Thursday: “First MLB Game On Facebook Has Various Issues, Angers Some Fans” Who could have possibly guessed that’s how it would go down, except for pretty much everybody who wasn’t involved in the decision-making process? Beyond this being a stupendously awful time to be associated with Facebook, taking content off television and putting it exclusively online has to be one of the single dumbest ideas in the history of sports business, to the point where it is mind-boggling that it even advanced past the idea stage, let alone to something that actually happened when the Mets played...

Trading Via Tweet: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Kids these days, they don’t wanna have to set up an online brokerage account, download some specialized online brokerage app and then do stupid research. No. They want an algorithm to tell them what to do, and then to immediately be able to do it without considering the consequences. At least, this is TD Ameritrade’s thesis, as it adds instant trading capabilities to its new Twitter chatbot. The algorithm sifts through tweets and then rates the relevance of the information to provide “intelligence” to investors, such as volume spikes, live trading quotes and company news. Or, you know, this. In any event, once the youngs see that the president has told them to just buy anything, they’ll then do it right then and there. The bot is accessible via direct message over Twitter; whether a client...

Trump’s Past Bad Market Tweets Will Live On Long After The Future Trump Recession Ends

Over the course of the 36 years Donald Trump has been President, “we the people” have been trying our best to gently warn him that live-brag-blogging the market on Twitter is not a great idea. Even if the (previously) inexorable equity rally was directly attributable to Donald Trump and not to what it’s actually attributable to (i.e. central banks and the “Goldilocks” combination of well-anchored inflation and synchronous global growth), it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to go out of his way to tie the fate of the market to the public’s perception of his success/failure as President. The reason that’s not a good idea is obvious to everyone but Trump. If Dow Jones = Donald Trump on the way up, well then it stands to reason that barring some plausible explanation for why those two “people” ...

American President Makes Strong Bid For Nobel Prize In Economics

Considering that the only modern president to have won a Nobel Prize in economics was Josiah Bartlet, and he’s fake, we might have just witnessed the greatest moment of market theory to have come out of the Oval Office since Reconstruction (wait…what?). This recent market volatility has clearly irked our fragile leader, and one can only imagine that Donald Trump has been yelling why no one can find Gary Cohn to explain why the Dow isn’t “doing big” what with all the jobs that Trump himself has personally created, especially for “the blacks.” And since Trump has so symbiotically joined his sense of power to the growth of capital markets that he doesn’t comprehend (and since Gary Cohn has locked himself in every available janitorial closet in the West Wing to avoid explaining another simple ...

And Now, Please Watch This Video Of Jim Cramer Weeping With With Inchoate Joy

When the dust settled on Super Bowl LII (an admittedly good game between two objectively despicable franchises [Go Giants!]), The Philadelphia Eagles were in possession of their first Lombardi Trophy and a rabid fan base so used to aggravated assault disappointment was finally able to feel joy. And that unbridled relief of realizing a dream deferred was perhaps best personified by the reaction of one man/one fan/one stock picker extroidinaire; Jim Cramer. The Mad One, a lifelong Eagles fan, was at the game last night and the magic of his attendance will be preserved for all time thanks to the Twitter account of his wife, Lisa Detwiler. As the confetti dropped from the rafters and Tom Brady dropped to his plant-based ass, Detwiler turned he camera phone on her husband and caprtured a moment...

Twitter says government requests for your data jumped 52%

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