Steve Cohen

The Poached Becomes The Poacher

A couple of years ago, Ken Griffin had a little bit of friendly advice for his buddy Steve Cohen, who—potentially on account of the unfortunateness—was having a little trouble finding non-idiots to yell at and humiliate. That advice was, “take it from somebody else,” with the unspoken addendum of “especially if they’re having some reputational problems… oh, wait, you can’t. Sorry.” History has not recorded Cohen’s undoubtedly understated and not-at-all roaring spit-geyser reaction to that bit of Windy City shade-throwing. Suffice it to say he was only too happy to take Griffin’s advice in staffing up his burgeoning quantitative efforts with one of Ken’s own. And now that KG is having his own staffing issues, the Big Guy would like to note that he’s having to beat the top-notch talent flock...

Steve Cohen Sees John Paulson’s $1.5 Billion Tax Bill, Raises Him Another $1.5 Billion

Getty Images Tax bills of $1.5 billion are never fun for the recipient. First off, it’s a real logistical pain-in-the-ass to pay the IRS that much. And second, it’s ONE-POINT-FIVE-BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS. The only good thing about a $1.5 billion tax bill is that it means you once made enough money to generate a $1.5 billion tax liability. Even this, however, is cold comfort for John Paulson. For thanks to Congress’ kindness towards people like himself, when it closed the loophole allowing people like himself to stow their winnings overseas tax-free in 2008—a year in and immediately prior to which John Paulson had many winnings indeed—it gave people like John Paulson an extra decade in which they did not have to pay the piper. That decade has gone somewhat less well for Paulson than the pre...

Steve Cohen Giving Point72 That New SAC Smell

Four years ago, amidst the, um, unpleasantness, Steve Cohen had to make quite a show of not running a “vertible magnet for market cheaters”/linguistic innovator in the field of insider trading. So he went and hired a McKinsey guy to head things, a new human resources guy to sift the black edge out of the applicant pool and an advisory board for good measure. Well, no one’s heard from that advisory board since the initial press release. And the McKinsey guy’s gone, either because in addition to being the architect of an ethical work environment he was also the architect of a hostile one, or because now that Steve Cohen’s a hedge fund manager again, he doesn’t need a babysitter. And that HR guy? Yea, he’s “decided to retire.” And in case you hadn’t gotten the message that the “review of Poin...

Steve Cohen’s Not-So-Crack Naming Unit Stumbles Upon Decent Handle

Ever since certain unfortunate circumstances persuaded Steve Cohen to abandon the perfectly good nom d’entreprise SAC Capital Advisers, the Big Guy’s quite frankly struggled with the name game. The monikers he’s come up with for his family-office-cum-hedge-fund and its disparate parts have ranged from the uninspired (Point72 Asset Management, Stamford Harbor Capital) to the puzzling (Creating Rubric Capital). More recently, team Cohen has all but given up on attempting the impossible by coming up with a decent name. Instead of heroic attempts and failures like Cubist Systematic Strategies, they’re just appending words to the Point72 brand, for example, dubbing the venture capital arm Point72 Ventures. This approach is certainly boring, but is at least safe from misfires like “EverPoint Ass...

Steve Cohen Dips His Toe In The Credit Card Business, Giggles That No One Is Stopping Him

For Fintech to truly evolve, some have argued, the industry needs to mature quickly from a wild bunch of disruptors to a professional cabal of financiers who understand money and fetishize security as risk management. In addition to the long-held bias against Fintech’s perceived lower asset and credit quality, there have been too many recent examples of hacking, laundering and a general sense of overconfidence leading to incompetence. These days, it would behoove any digital money platform to recruit trusted names from the old-school world of finance to invest and/or participate in their growth. If you’re pitching a model predicated on professionalism, security and basic trust, find a way to bring in some old dude known on The Street for possessing those qualities. “Digital credit card sha...

Steve Cohen Spent The Weekend Partying With Charlie Rose And Woody Allen Because Sometimes These Write Themselves

Last week we learned that Steve Cohen’s new hedge fund is sitting on more than $3 billion in outside money less than four months into his post SEC-enforced timeout period. That’s a lot of money to raise in just a few weeks, and our eyebrow was definitely in a raised position considering that Steve managed to book all that cheddar despite his own public scrape with the #MeToo movement. But now that we hear who SAC is out on the town with these days, it makes sense that rumors of sexual harassment aren’t having a materially negative effect on Point72’s AUM… Thanks for this beautiful report, PageSix: Ousted CBS and PBS anchor Charlie Rose continues to be a fixture on New York’s social circuit.After Page Six exclusively reported he had dinner Wednesday with Sean Penn at one of NYC’s hottest ne...

Steve Cohen Gets Kick From Scaring The Hell Out Of Cash-Strapped Entrepreneurs

Hi. I’m Steve. Want a hot dog? You’ve been honing your pitch. Practicing your answers to the likely questions in the mirror. Poring through your deck, making sure every little thing is perfect. You think you’ve got a billion-dollar idea. Maybe it’s a blockchain play. Or a way to trick poor young people into playing the stock market. Or a crowd-sourced algorithmic-trading venture. Or a way to have autonomous cars not kill people. You’ve spent hours rehearsing the details of your plan with some ominous-sounding folks. But now you’ve flown in from Silicon Valley or driven up to Stamford for a chance to convince the principals. You slowly pass down a stone-wall-lined street, along which sit a few low-slung suburban office buildings. You near the water, hang a left into the specified parking lo...

Just Make Steve Cohen V.A. Secretary And Get It Over With

Getty Images Donald Trump has decided to put his personal doctor in the United States Cabinet as secretary for Veterans Affairs. In spite of Dr. Ronny Jackson’s complete lack of any administrative experience (the VA employs about 400,000 people) and questionable command of medicine (he has called a splotchy, rotund, orange geriatric with early-onset dementia the picture of health and mental acuity), this makes a certain amount of sense. After all, if the president’s personal pilot is the perfect man to lead the FAA, why not? Plus, that lack of any management background will make Jackson the perfect guy to just do what the president says, which may well be to privatize America’s entire system for caring for its retired soldiery. To which we say, why not just cut out the middleman? Steve Coh...

Steve Cohen Buys The Dip In Self-Driving Cars

By an NTSB employee [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons Like everyone else, Steve Cohen is a quant now, which means he’s totally hip to all the new things out there. Take these self-driving cars. They’re sort of like that car with the driver in front of his house, but for relatively poor people. They’re the future. Also, they occasionally kill people. That makes this a good time to get in on the ground floor for cheap, and is exactly the sort of opportunity for which Steve Cohen founded a venture-capital firm filled with people who know how to waterboard some skinny-jean-wearing tech bro. Billionaire hedge fund investor Steven Cohen’s venture capital group announced this week it had co-led a $15 million investment round in a Silicon Valley startup that is developing artificial-intellige...

Canadian Insurer Can’t Sue Defunct Connecticut Hedge Fund In New Jersey After All

Not in New Jersey. Getty Images Fairfax Financial Holdings has been suing Steve Cohen for almost as long as his ex-wife. The Canadian insurer’s been suing Steve Cohen long enough to take credit for Patricia Cohen’s renewed effort to give the father of her children the John Gotti treatment. And like that effort, it’s had its ups and downs. Specifically, it’s gotten the SEC on Steve’s case and also insulted him to his face and made his lawyer super-angry, and—like Patty—has endured its fair share of dismissals. But like the case of Cohen v. Cohen, it keeps coming back, revived last year by a New Jersey appeals court long after the hedge fund (well, one of the hedge funds) Fairfax was suing had ceased to be. Unlike Patty Cohen’s quixotic crusade, however, Fairfax’s may finally be at an end. T...

Because It Worked So Well Last Time, Steve Cohen Will Be His Own Morality Sheriff At Point72

When Steve Cohen started unsubtly pitching Point72 Asset Management as the ethical sequel to his “less than totally clean” SAC Capital, we had some laughs. But Steve really made every attempt to sell the image of his new fund as the angel that killed the devil lurking in his soul. He even hired people to watch over him and ensure that he looked no further for the “Black Edge” but instead turned into the light where guys like former McKinsey samurai Doug Haynes would stop him from recording his employees with a “God cam” or accidentally coercing them into felonies. And for a while, it worked! But recently we found out that Steve’s hand-chosen morality minder had engaged is some less than gentlemanly behavior of his own, such as writing “Pussy” on a whiteboard in his office, leaving it up th...

Ken Griffin Cans Steve Cohen’s Brother-In-Law

A couple of years ago, Ken Griffin and Steve Cohen had a bit of a disagreement over the relative prevalence and availability of talented traders with which one could stock a hedge fund. Steve was bemoaning the bottom-of-the-barrel resumes he was seeing; Ken suggested there might be a reason for that. As if to demonstrate, at around the same time, Griffin hired Cohen’s brother-in-law to run a new stock-picking unit, because he could. And then he had Richie Schimel fill that unit, Aptigon Capital, with refugees from Visium Asset Management, because that’s what he does, and also because he could—and Cohen couldn’t. And now, Griffin has fired Schimel, because, again, that’s what he does, and, again, also because he can. Maybe it’s time for that family reunion after all. Richard Schimel, who ha...

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