Boomer Esiason

Jury Finds Craig Carton Guilty Of Being Smarter Than Anyone Thought

To anyone who listened to the man on the radio, the idea that Craig Carton would be capable of committing securities and wire fraud was inconceivable. A person who’d probably screw up a between-innings three-legged-race at a minor league baseball game guilty of conspiring to rip off loan sharks and a supposedly well-run hedge fund? Impossible. Even the man himself agreed: He’s far too stupid to have pulled something like that off. Much more likely that he was the unwitting pawn of veterans of more erudite ticket-scalping Ponzi schemes. Well, a Manhattan jury has considered the evidence and decided that it’s not impossible at all. Congratulations to Craig Carton for proving himself smarter than anyone who’s heard him talk could possibly imagine. And also for the fact that sentencing guideli...