Welcome to the new Opening Bell from The Water Coolest. We think you’re gonna like it here…
Babysitter’s Club [The Water Coolest]
Apparently, Travis Kalanick was busy.
Tesla has named Robyn Denholm as chairwoman (?) of the board. Replacing Musk as chairman was an SEC sanction handed down as part of Elon’s settlement with the commission related to the tweet heard round the world. Tesla had until November 13th to name a replacement.
Let’s be honest, Denholm will ‘advise’ Musk like Luke Walton ‘coaches’ Lebron James.
Monster, Inc. [The Water Coolest]
Coca-Cola is unleashing a new line of energy drinks as it continues to branch out from its classic fizzy soda product (we see you, CBD infused coke). The new products, “Coca-Cola Energy,” and a “No Sugar” variation will be coming soon to a gas station near you, that is unless Monster has something to say about it.
Coke bought a 17% stake in the preferred morning elixir of people with neck tattoos in 2015 as it looked to dip its toe into the energy drink pool. here was just one agreement: Coke wouldn’t dabble in the energy drink space. But based on the company’s plans to create a Minotaur of its own, it would seem Coke DGAF about no stinkin’ contract.
Family JUULs [The Water Coolest]
Time to start stockpiling JUUL pods like they’re original Four Loko (and the haters said we couldn’t reference Four Loko twice in one newsletter). Allegedly, the FDA will order most retail outlets to pull flavored pod-style e-cigs from their shelves amid worries about underage use.
What else is happening today?
- Not to be outdone by Amazon, Google announced that it will be expanding its NYC operations.
- Morgan Stanley is suing Morgan Stanely and one of these companies had an employee named Morgan Stanley.
- US oil prices hit an eight-month low of $60.67 a barrel thus entering *gasp* a bear market.
Sign up for The Water Coolest to get the latest business and markets news sent to your inbox daily.